Super Ultra Pokemon Adventurer Plus
by Silence072
Summary: Steve Green has high hopes of becoming the world's best pokemon trainer from his region, but due to the fact that he will have to survive in the wilderness with only his torchic and a few of his friends that he barely knows tensions can soon become tough. Maybe... It's funny, trust me. Also Reviews would be nice yes.
1. Chapter 1 Moving Day

" I guess this will be the last time that I sit on this bed for a while…" Steve thought to himself out loud as a teardrop fell onto his floorboards. " I'm going to miss being free loader in my single mother's house," Steve whispered as more tears strolled down.

" Steve! Get off your ass and get out of my house!" Steve's mother yelled toward her son.

" Is that the kind of happy birthday you give to everyone you bitch!" Steve asked his mother in an angry disgust.

" Damn it boy, you're 18 fucking years old! It's time for you to make a _move in life since you can't push yourself to find a job."_

" _Fuck you mom! I didn't ask to be born, and I sure as hell didn't ask you to take it up the pussy as apposed to your ass!"_

"_What. The. Fuck… Just get the hell out of my house!" And with that last outburst Steve's mother put a boot straight into her offsprings asshole and slammed her door shut._

"_Fucking cunt bitch," Steve said while dusting himself off from the dirt. Much to his uncomfort he saw an old family friend shuffling their way toward his vicinity. _

" _Whats wrong, sour sauce?" the old man asked. He was dressed in a chemist's trench coat and wore spectacles like the old guy from that Disney movie about the balloons. _

"_My fucking mom kicked me out of the house, but don't worry about me Professor Hardwood, I'll be sure to die out in the wilderness." Steve replied with an undertone of a feministic._

"_Well we won't have that now, come and follow me honey bunny so we can make sure you have some protection. _

_Steve followed the old fart to the village library and followed him as he voyaged into the main office. "I used to be a pokemon sociologist/ rapist back in my good ol' days, but every since I molested that little kid back in 78' I was forced to resign from science and I had to take a job running this piece of shit library to keep my sanity! I want you to have a better chance in life than I did," Professor Hardwood announced as he handed Steve a poke ball, "Inside that ball is a little cock, raise it up to be big one so that you can do what I couldn't … which is molest kids and get away with it!"_

_Although he was baffled by the professor's speech, Steve couldn't help but notice the two other poke balls on the professors table. "Uhh… I know you just gave me this chicken pokemon and all but I noticed that you had two more poke balls on your table. Is there anyway that I could decide between them as to which of the pokemon I want?" Steve asked. _

"_Well…," the elder explained with sass as he dug his hand into his pants and began thrusting what seemed to be a banana, " I already promised this jigglypuff to another young man who is supposed to be running me an errand in Sulfur City since I'm on thier wanted list. The other is just a magikarp." _

"_Oh cool a magikarp! Can I have it along with the chicken. Yeah? Kay thanks bye!" Steve shrilled as he grabbed the other poke ball and leapt out the door. "Implosion explosion!" Prof. Hardwood exclaimed as he came to a climax._


	2. Chapter 2 Friend or Foe?

Chapter 2

As Steve walked outside of the library he saw his old childhood nemisis/best friend making his way toward his direction.

" Whats up, Jerry?"

"Nuttin much, Steve, I'm just headin to Prof. Hardwoods office so I can get tis pokemon and run his 'errand.'. Aye mon, where'd you get those two balls from?"

"Huh?" Steve asked while beginning to question his friends sexuality and it didn't help that Jerry had a feminine voice, but he soon realized that he was indeed holding two balls. But there were pokemon inside. "Oh yeah… I got these from Professor Hardwood after he found out that my bitch of a mom kicked me out."

"Ya mean you're mom actually kicked you out on ya birthday. Bad mojo mon." Jerry joked. Steve almost forgot about his friend's faux Jaimacan accent. Every since they watched Van Wilder : Freshman Year, and he found out that there were white Rastafarians, he quickly took up the lifestyle. "Want some weed mon?

"Hellz yeah!" Steve exclaimed as he yanked the 7ft doobie and sucked out the fumes as if he were sucking a wee-wee. " Damn, this things as big as my dick," Steve stated while coughing from his weed.

"Yeh, it's a good ting ganja's not illegal in Kanto like it is 'ere in the Bukkake region. If you want to you can head over to my house and grab a bite to eat 'fore ya leave town. Mi mom's cooked up a nice fat skillet." Jerry said before yanking what was left of his weed from Steve's mouth and unwrapping the paper before proceeding to eat the greens. "Sorry to cut a chat short but I've got busy to attend to … mon. One love!" and with that Jerry went inside of the Library.

Steve walked inside of his best friends house without knocking and stomped around until he found Jerry's Mother. " Hi Misses Jerry's Mom, wonderful sun that's not shining." Steve said before realizing how stupid his dialogue was. _Damn it, I'm looking like a fucking fool over here. Why can't I just tell Jerry's mom how I really feel about her?_

"Hi Jerry, Me took poopy today." Jerry's mom yelled with a drool. Even though Jerry's Mom was retarded it didn't make Steve lose any of his lust towards her. He like her in a _special_ kind of way. Get it?

"Hey, umm… Did Jerry leave some food here?"

"Yes! He have mashed potato and spaghetti. I cook it withs my feets."

"Oh really, If you cooked it then now I know I want it!"

"Here you goes!" Jerry's mom exclaimed as she threw the potato at Steve and hit him in the sack.

"Ohh! Shit! My balls!" Steve screamed. Jerry's mom walked over to him and poured the spaghetti onto his face. "You eat and turn into beautiful butterfree. Mm mmm good!" She said while farting. " My balls! You squished my balls!" Steve cried. " No I have balls right here." Jerry's mom showed Steve his pair of poke balls. " Not those balls, these NUTTS!" Steve explained while pointing to his pelvis area. "Huh?" Jerry's mom spanked on Steve's privates. Hard. Steve screamed in pain.

"What squishy thing?"

"Those are my golfballs, you know, like your Son's!" Steve screamed obviously pissed.

"… Jerry?"

"Yes you fucking retard, Jerry!"

"Jerry not have squishy thing, he have second mouth like me!"

"What the FUCKING FUCK!" Steve yelled, "You mean to tell me that Jerry is a girl? Why Doesn't he have any tits then?"

"… Oh Boo Boo Bees. My mommy told me we don't have any because we oriental. And that's why daddy left mommy," Jerry's Mom said with a smile

" Oh … So this whole time I could've been banging a chick?"

" I tell him he boy and he is because I says so!"

"But wait, how do you not know what a dick and balls are?"

" I cry to doctor for kid and he put turkey baster full of vanilla pudding in my blood spitter."

"This is too much I have to go… but first!" Steve said while unzipping his pants to reveal a set of squished balls

RAPE SCENE CENSORED OUT

"Whoa, a whole new world" Jerry's mom exclaimed the way that a retard would after hard sex.

"Hell yeah, and you can bet there's gonna be more of that the next time I come to town." Steve bragged while zipping his pants up.

He walked out of the house and stared at his next destination … the forest. "Wow I haven't even stepped out into the forest yet or even figured out what this chicken pokemon is… but at least I got some head!"

As a cool breeze hit his clothes he took his first step out of the small village town. _One small step for man, one huge leap for an ant. Then a rustling was heard in a nearby bush. _" Holy shit I'm in danger!" Steve pissed his pants


End file.
